Blog Stalking

Blog stalking is a subset of cyber stalking.  Much like picking one's nose blog stalking is a terrible habit that you want no one to witness. If you are not reading my blog out of pity, you have probably been guilty of this activity too.  I have been down many a downward spiral of blog stalking, especially 4-5 years ago when blogging was still cool. Why? Because it is so easy and feels like contained gossip because it is often posted by the very person you are trying to get info on.  My logic was if they are posting this info publically why not read it? Also blogging was simply a lot cooler than it is now.  

Why bring this up? After looking at the blog of person who I shall call Wetthyjn, I saw things I regret seeing.  Nothing shocking or illegal just embarresingly personal things I did not want to know about Wetthyjn's life.   Things that were not even worth gossiping about to other people.  So I have decided to only read the blogs of people I will actually talk to in public.  Or in the very least people I actually like.  


Well that is enough soapboxing for now, adios.

Eccentric Encounters on Trax

Hello All, I was trying to think of a clever explanation for my lack of "blogging" but much like the writer's room in seasons 5,6, 8 and most of 9, of the The Office, I am coming up empty.

Anyways, major things that have changed in my life since my last blog post are marriage and a new job. Marriage is still awesome and amazing, highly recommend for anyone and everyone. At the very least people should find a person they can forever crack the same cheesy jokes with. Mutual jokes are one of the support pillars in my marriage and I mean that in a genuinely happy way.

The second change brings me to this post, I have started a new job where I no longer can take UTA Trax to work everyday. While this new job is nice and great, I do miss the colorful situations public transportation has put me in. I have had lots of wonderful experiences like running into old friends, meeting nice old ladies, and saving tons of money on gas, but for the most part I have found myself in more "complex" and "interesting" scenarios on the train. For instance on my penultimate trax trip I had to walk through a crime scene investigation because a jay-walker got hit by a truck while crossing against a green light, word is that the jaywalker survived.  For the more humorous scenarios see my list below.

"Interesting" Trax Encounters

• Being asked out by a small smelly man who came to Utah for the music "scene".
• A lecture on the pseudoscience "Mathematical Morality" and its relation to criminal activity.
• Girl on a phone call where she revealed to her mother, her intentions to seduce her bisexual male friend along with her quest to amicably remove her name from church records.
• Way too many guys asking their female study mates on dates and getting passive aggressively turned down. 
• A hipstery couple borrowing/almost stealing my cell phone to call their music biz "contact." (Does UT really have a happening music scene?)
• People trying to sell me Trax tickets even though I have already boarded the train.
• Adult twin sisters who still dressed the same.
• Non ticket payers pretending to be "asleep" when UTA personnel  come by to check tickets.
• Last but not least a girl yelling at her boyfriend to "stop all this Necrophilia" stuff. I really hope she was talking about a computer/video game for the sake of us all.

If you have read this, thank you for indulging me.  Hope to have more blog posts to come and on a regular basis. 

Filling in the blanks

Many times in conversation people need to feel in the blanks when we don't quite catch all of what the person said. Most of the time people make the correct assumptions without incident, except me. I do not have this ability my mind makes the wieredest assumptions and I believing I heard something that was completely contradictory to what was said.

Most recently in relief society while briefly going the story of Rebecca, I thought I heard the paraphrase

"And he said 'great you shall bear my bastard.'"

After double take I realized the phrase was "great ye shall marry my master."

On another occasion I assigned a friend a false last name for weeks.


I am even worse with song lyrics here is a superior blogging on the matter.

In the mean time here is a crude list of my common misheard song lyrics.

Apologize by One Republic
Actual: Too late the apologize
What I thought I heard: Too late to go to Johnny's

Fake Plastic Trees by Radiohead
Actual: He used to do surgery, For girls in the eighties.
What I thought I heard: Did surgery on girls in the A-Team.

Send me on my way by Rusted Root
Actual: Send my on my way.
What I thought I heard: Salmonella way


As you can see most of the mistakes could be corrected by simple cognitive inquires like finding out if the title is in chorus (as it often is).

Quotant Quotables (Kid edition)

The people who are going to find this funny are probably going to be the people who have met the majority of my verbal nieces and nephews. I still love the ones who are not quite talking yet but I thought I would do a brief shout out to some of the classic quotes of the wee ones.


You you just gotta leave me, alone I am brushing my hair. - (Sassy Niece)

I think Derek took him out. - (Sassy Niece)

Granpa your really strong! - (Brainy Nephew, while trying to convince my father to open the toy chest)

If Chelsey gets out of town where will she go? - (Affable Nephew)

Thank you for my Batman friend. - (Affable Nephew)

I was fighting her. - (Brainy Nephew)

I am here everybody - (Brainy Nephew)

I don't like Chase, I like you! -(Sassy Niece)

You should be nice to your mom. - (Sassy Niece)

I'm gonna be a Jedi girl - (Flirty Niece)

I want my other Mother - (Flirty Niece)

Please bless me so I don't eat like a pig. - (Flirty Niece)

I think you should get married and have a 100 dinosaur babies. - (Brainy Nephew)

I have two grandmas! - (Sassy Niece)

Sticks go outside! - (The Wonder Twins)

My Mom is my Mother. - (Sassy Niece)

Its been awhile.

The reason I have not been so productive lately

I am quite the Batman cinephile.

The Dark Knight Rises, July 2012!

Another cartoon look alike.

Rajon Rondo from the Celtics and Frozone from the Incredibles look alike due to their narrow heads and slim but athletic frames.

Non-Sports Fan translation:
Frozone from the Incredibles looks a player on that green basketball team from Boston that periodically wins something in the summer. Basketball is that sport which is like soccer except they bounce the ball and score more.

Non-Disney & Pixar Fan Translation:
Rajon Rondo looks a Superhero from a Pixar movie with a Superhero family. Pixar is that place that makes Kid movies with computers.

My Friday Night Conspiracy.

In my years of watching an abhorrent amount of television I have discovered something so terrible and obscene. Friday Night Television is perpetuating the stereotype of socially isolated science fiction nerds. How?! Let me explain. The TV shows that attract an "alternative" audience (see list below) primarily air on Friday nights, which is often considered to be the most sociable night of the week. So the pop culture nerds like myself often have to choose between making friends and their beloved TV shows. Guess what socially awkward nerds choose 8 times out of 10? They are going to choose Friday Nights watching Sci Fi Television alone (statistic may or may not be made up). Oh how many Friday nights I spent awkwardly telling friends of mine that I could not hang out just so I could watch Battlestar Gallactica with my Dad. Of course there is the argument that these shows are on Friday nights becuase no one would watch them otherwise, but then I would cite that there have been successful non Friday night geeky shows like LOST, & the first Season of Heroes.

With the increasing availability of online TV, people say that TV nerds don't have to sacrifice their tentative Friday night outings (ex.Monopoly Parties, Murder Mystery night, Space Camp etc.) But the shows they know and love are airing during the Friday Night Death Slot. So what limited dignity they have is often tossed towards "Save ______ (insert show)" campaigns. When said shows do get cancelled the TV nerds often will spiral into a state of anger and depression until they find another Sci Fi/alternative TV show to obsess over.

Here is a vague list of some Friday night TV shows past of present.

Fringe (My current Poison)

Twilight Zone (Including some of its newer revivals)

Battlestar Gallactica (R.I.P)

X-Files (for the first 3 seasons)

Caprica

Dollhouse

Also do not get me started on the Saturday Night television paradigm thats for another time.