Filling in the blanks

Many times in conversation people need to feel in the blanks when we don't quite catch all of what the person said. Most of the time people make the correct assumptions without incident, except me. I do not have this ability my mind makes the wieredest assumptions and I believing I heard something that was completely contradictory to what was said.

Most recently in relief society while briefly going the story of Rebecca, I thought I heard the paraphrase

"And he said 'great you shall bear my bastard.'"

After double take I realized the phrase was "great ye shall marry my master."

On another occasion I assigned a friend a false last name for weeks.


I am even worse with song lyrics here is a superior blogging on the matter.

In the mean time here is a crude list of my common misheard song lyrics.

Apologize by One Republic
Actual: Too late the apologize
What I thought I heard: Too late to go to Johnny's

Fake Plastic Trees by Radiohead
Actual: He used to do surgery, For girls in the eighties.
What I thought I heard: Did surgery on girls in the A-Team.

Send me on my way by Rusted Root
Actual: Send my on my way.
What I thought I heard: Salmonella way


As you can see most of the mistakes could be corrected by simple cognitive inquires like finding out if the title is in chorus (as it often is).

Quotant Quotables (Kid edition)

The people who are going to find this funny are probably going to be the people who have met the majority of my verbal nieces and nephews. I still love the ones who are not quite talking yet but I thought I would do a brief shout out to some of the classic quotes of the wee ones.


You you just gotta leave me, alone I am brushing my hair. - (Sassy Niece)

I think Derek took him out. - (Sassy Niece)

Granpa your really strong! - (Brainy Nephew, while trying to convince my father to open the toy chest)

If Chelsey gets out of town where will she go? - (Affable Nephew)

Thank you for my Batman friend. - (Affable Nephew)

I was fighting her. - (Brainy Nephew)

I am here everybody - (Brainy Nephew)

I don't like Chase, I like you! -(Sassy Niece)

You should be nice to your mom. - (Sassy Niece)

I'm gonna be a Jedi girl - (Flirty Niece)

I want my other Mother - (Flirty Niece)

Please bless me so I don't eat like a pig. - (Flirty Niece)

I think you should get married and have a 100 dinosaur babies. - (Brainy Nephew)

I have two grandmas! - (Sassy Niece)

Sticks go outside! - (The Wonder Twins)

My Mom is my Mother. - (Sassy Niece)

Its been awhile.

The reason I have not been so productive lately

I am quite the Batman cinephile.

The Dark Knight Rises, July 2012!

Another cartoon look alike.

Rajon Rondo from the Celtics and Frozone from the Incredibles look alike due to their narrow heads and slim but athletic frames.

Non-Sports Fan translation:
Frozone from the Incredibles looks a player on that green basketball team from Boston that periodically wins something in the summer. Basketball is that sport which is like soccer except they bounce the ball and score more.

Non-Disney & Pixar Fan Translation:
Rajon Rondo looks a Superhero from a Pixar movie with a Superhero family. Pixar is that place that makes Kid movies with computers.

My Friday Night Conspiracy.

In my years of watching an abhorrent amount of television I have discovered something so terrible and obscene. Friday Night Television is perpetuating the stereotype of socially isolated science fiction nerds. How?! Let me explain. The TV shows that attract an "alternative" audience (see list below) primarily air on Friday nights, which is often considered to be the most sociable night of the week. So the pop culture nerds like myself often have to choose between making friends and their beloved TV shows. Guess what socially awkward nerds choose 8 times out of 10? They are going to choose Friday Nights watching Sci Fi Television alone (statistic may or may not be made up). Oh how many Friday nights I spent awkwardly telling friends of mine that I could not hang out just so I could watch Battlestar Gallactica with my Dad. Of course there is the argument that these shows are on Friday nights becuase no one would watch them otherwise, but then I would cite that there have been successful non Friday night geeky shows like LOST, & the first Season of Heroes.

With the increasing availability of online TV, people say that TV nerds don't have to sacrifice their tentative Friday night outings (ex.Monopoly Parties, Murder Mystery night, Space Camp etc.) But the shows they know and love are airing during the Friday Night Death Slot. So what limited dignity they have is often tossed towards "Save ______ (insert show)" campaigns. When said shows do get cancelled the TV nerds often will spiral into a state of anger and depression until they find another Sci Fi/alternative TV show to obsess over.

Here is a vague list of some Friday night TV shows past of present.

Fringe (My current Poison)

Twilight Zone (Including some of its newer revivals)

Battlestar Gallactica (R.I.P)

X-Files (for the first 3 seasons)

Caprica

Dollhouse

Also do not get me started on the Saturday Night television paradigm thats for another time.

The Best Comedy on Television.

A Bold statement. But this show cannot get enough praise. Parks and Recreation is The Office Seasons 2-3 Funny. Every character ranging from the joyfully excited type-A mess that is Leslie Knope to the constantly ridiculed office baboon Jerry, brings the laughter. There is no reason not to watch this show. Anyone with internet access (if you didn't have internet access you would not be reading this anyway) should watch this show now. Hulu, Netflix or NBC.com are among the numerous venues for viewing along with good old fashion TV. I will admit the first season was uneven, but to let that prevent you from partaking in such a visual gem would be a disservice to yourself.

To give you a taste here are some clips.

Kate Middleton looks like the "Other" Ursula from The Little Mermaid

Yes, I am one of those poor people who is following the Royal Wedding coverage like it is the biggest media event since Lebron Jame's "The Decision". In my gross consumption of this barrage of media coverage, I noticed one thing. Kate Middleton the princess in waiting, bears a resemblance to the woman-form that the Sea Witch Ursula takes in the The Little Mermaid. For those well adjusted individuals who stopped watching Disney movies when they were children here is a reminder. *Spoiler Alert* Ursula takes Human form and seduces Prince Eric (with Ariel's voice) into agreeing to marry her the next day. I actually like Kate Middleton as much as an apathetic American can, but I never can pass up the opportunity to point out someone's resemblance to a cartoon character.